You are not alone. There are some good reasons not to tell anyone your dreams. People seem to be increasingly concerned with the misuse of their personal information these days. The more deeply disturbing or unusual your dream may be the less likely you are to tell anyone what your dream was. “Too much information” is a popular term referring to wanting to set limits on another person spilling their guts. This leads to further fear that your dreams will be misinterpreted or even worse, ignored. “Whatever” is the passive aggressive attempt to show that the other person really doesn’t care about your dream at all.
When you think of the content of most people’s dreams it’s not surprising that their reluctant to talk about them. Oneirophobia or the fear of dreams is a psychiatric term referring to people who are reluctant to discuss their own dreams. Sigmund Freud pointed out that when we dream, much of the part of our brain that represses unwanted thoughts and feelings is asleep. That leaves our wildest desires and embarrassing thoughts to be expressed. It’s no wonder that if you don’t spend any time contemplating your dreams when you wake up they will quickly go away. Using Freud’s concept, we feel uncomfortable when we think about those things. The emotions surrounding most dreams are unpleasant enough that we don’t like to bring them up alone or in polite society.
In psychoanalysis not providing information, particularly dreams is considered a form of resistance. On a simplistic level, the patient does not want to give intimate details of their psychological life for fear of being misinterpreted or even worse, criticized. More recently, the idea of resistance is taken on a different focal point. The patient may be unwilling to provide psychological information because the therapist has not established sufficient trust. This inevitably gave the psychoanalyst the opportunity to do something while they waited for the patient to open up. When you think of the few people that you trust in the world. It becomes much more clear why you don’t talk about your dreams.
There is also the pop psychology perspective that can be paraphrased by the concept of telling your dreams to someone means that you give your power away. From this viewpoint you should keep your dreams to yourself and concentrate on making them more real. Living your dream becomes the new motto, replacing the old one of sharing your dream with someone else to increase your insight as to why you may have had it.
Somehow it has become bad social etiquette to divulge dreams that may show parts of you in an unfavorable light. The initial reaction of most people, when asked to share a dream is one of being startled. “No one is ever asked me about my dreams before.” The underlying reaction is that of shock that someone is actually interested in your dream, no matter how confusing and inconsistent it may be to you. This brings up another concern that once someone knows something inconsistent about you they then have power over you.
With the increasing concern to show yourself in one particular way. There may be more of a reluctance to describe a dream because it shows your ignorance as to why you have the dream. This fear of appearing naïve and lacking in self understanding makes it hard to reveal something so emotionally charged and confused.
This has had its effect on the Internet as well. Five years ago there were hundreds of websites offering dream interpretation. People were much more confident about asking very personal questions about themselves to a complete stranger, often someone they could not even hear or see. In the last few years all but a few sites survive.
Whether it is concerns that your dream may show how little you know of yourself or if you are simply too shy to share something so personal; the point remains the same. In my own situation I have found people to be very cautious about revealing a dream to me when I tell them I am writing a book on dream interpretation. They will look to talk about all aspects of their dream except for its actual content. Even when tempted by such phrases as, “I have found that telling other people my dreams gives me greater insight as to why I have them.” People will still be reluctant to reveal the content of their dreams.
This website provides free dream interpretation. Simply fill out the form and interpretation will be sent back to you via email.